the new term for farting is butt boxing.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
