Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
