He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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