I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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