I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Your penis caused this!
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