TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
