How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
