Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
