I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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