I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
