Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
