I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
