I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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