I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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