i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
