ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
