worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
