im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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