Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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