So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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