I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
