my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
