My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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