I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis