Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
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well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
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All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.