it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.