You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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