Only a mothe r could love this liver
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
