You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?