Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.