Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
