We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
