tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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