so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
