Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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