i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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