I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
