the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
