Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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