Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
