So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
