i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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