the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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