I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
