She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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