What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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