I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize