you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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