so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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