careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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