Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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