Someone shit on the floor
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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