I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
