my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Still dying that you shit outside
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
