ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
