ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't deserve a penis
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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