is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
