You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
