what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
