Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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