A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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