He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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