Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
