did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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