Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
