I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
