OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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