is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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